A Very Minor Slip of the Tongue
by Silver Supa
Summary: Akko and Andrew are bros. Akko wants a girlfriend. Feeling uncharacteristically nice, Andrew decides to get his bro a girlfriend. Naturally, it all goes wrong.
1. Chapter 1

Ever since he and his father performed an obligatory visit to the school of witchcraft, Andrew had found himself doing a number of things he wouldn't dare dream of. Defying the will of his father, defending the witches who he once scorned alongside him, and going out of his way to place his faith in people his father would've insisted were beneath him. Before that visit, being acquaintances, let alone friends, with someone like Akko Kagari would be utterly unthinkable.

Andrew had sort of assumed being friends with a girl would end up awkward. He knows how haughty it sounds, but frankly, he didn't need yet another girl in love and fawning over him. He had plenty of those. And Akko had all but admitted she thought he was very handsome, but to his surprise, she never really went beyond that, barely ever acknowledging that they were different genders anymore. It reminded him of when he first became friends with Frank, back before his father began expecting more out of him to uphold the family name. Just simple friendship, innocent and unconditional. It was…well, it was nice.

Akko insisted they were "bros." She ignored his own insistence that as a girl she could not be a brother. "Bros are more than that!" she would claim.

It may not make sense to someone raised in the fine, uptight society of aristocracy and statesmanship, but Andrew found that such things no longer bothered him. Akko wanted everyone to love magic and she did, and Andrew was, well, bewitched. And so, here he was. Sitting on a fountain in town next to Akko, just eating ice cream and talking about whatever fit the mood.

To Andrew, talking to people was a skill to be mastered. Words had deeper meanings and ulterior motives to them. There was an expectation of gain in a conversation, and people did not engage with the elite members of society such as the Hanbridges without hoping to gain money, prestige, or both. Andrew had spent many years learning these lessons. He had been trained to seek out double meanings in a sentence, to negotiate, to not relinquish any more power than he needed to while keeping both parties satisfied. Andrew had spent his whole life understanding the full power of words.

In stark contrast to the heavily weighted conversations he had in the halls of high society, conversations with Akko were…not pointless, per say, but weightless. Like the buttering up and preamble to some important deal that never came. Sweet words and pleasantries with no consequence. They sat and spoke almost unthinkably of whatever they wanted. They talked of Akko's odd collection of Chariot cards, they talked of Andrew's piano lessons, of silly anxieties they had and funny things they saw on the way here. Akko's words had no significance other than to simply have a good time with her friend.

Ironic, given the whole "Awakening the Words" thing she spent the school year doing, but if he said that, Akko would accuse of him of making a pun and subsequently, would never let him live it down. Though, it was odd how little the light-hearted teasing bothered him when he used to bristle at the implication of a stain on his name.

"Things sure have changed since you turned me into a donkey, hasn't it?" He teased the witch. She scratched the side of her head, embarrassed.  
"Hee hee! You really…don't need to bring that up again…" Akko clearly wears her heart on her sleeve.  
"Okay then. Things have changed since you brought that love bee to my party."  
"That one's even worse, Andrew! That was really embarrassing!"

Andrew chuckled softly and rested his hand on the smaller girl's shoulder. "That evening was certainly…undignified. I don't think I ever really apologized for putting you on the spot like that."  
"It wasn't like it was your fault, anyway. B-besides, it was sort of nice having people have a crush on me you know?"

Andrew disagreed, being so out of control of his thoughts like that was anything but nice, and with what his relationship was like with Akko now, it just seemed awkward in hindsight. "Well, I'm glad you think so. It hardly seems appropriate to be so obsessed with someone like that."

"Aw, it's not so bad, you know?" She said with a smile.

Andrew turned and raised his brow, and Akko's eyes went wide, frantically waving her hands as if to erase her last sentence.

"I-I mean, l-like how I'm obsessed with…uh- magic! Yeah, I really like magic, you know? I just…magic is so _great,_ you know? Can't get enough~" She tried to play it off and sing, but Andrew didn't need to see the growing pink on her face to know she was a terrible liar.

"Akko, do you have feelings for someon-?"

"NO!" She all but shouted directly in his face, and Andrew couldn't help but jump back. Akko seemed to at least realize she had overreacted, and sat back down with an innocent smile and red cheeks. "I mean, no. Of course not. That's so…heh…Boy, this is good ice cream, isn't it Andrew?"

 _How strange,_ Andrew thought. _She ignores all the scorn and ridicule people throw at her, but the implication of romance gets a reaction like this…_

Akko was always quite bubbly and talkative, and spoke what was on her mind pretty much to a fault. But he couldn't think of any specific person she talked about excessively besides Lotte, Sucy, Diana and her other classmates. He couldn't exactly place who she would be obsessed with except…

"Your crush isn't Chariot, is it?"

"What? Of course not! She's my _teacher_ now, Andrew."

Andrew thought about pressing the issue. There was no denying he was curious who the type of person to catch Akko's eye would be. But when he found the idea of Akko thinking he was handsome uncomfortable, she had backed off. And he _had_ just been musing that they enjoyed simply having more friends to talk to without expectations pressing down on his shoulders. It was just curiosity, not his business. If she wanted to be all romantic with someone, that was on her.

"So Akko." He said, trying to lift the now awkward mood. "You had said you were working on firework magic. How is that go-." Suddenly, she snapped her fingers and pointed at him, keeping her finger right in his face.

"A-and for the record!" She said. Was her voice shaking? "I'm not _obsessed_ , okay? It's just a…crush, is all."  
"...Okay." He had no idea why she was defending herself, he was trying to drop it.  
"And I'm young! This is my thrilling journey! I'm allowed to have crushes, you know! So don't act like it's so weird."  
"I apologize for making you uncomfortable."

She turned and looked ahead, her eyes not really focusing on anything in particular. In fact, she kept fidgeting and looking back at him.

"…Look," he said flatly. "Do want me to ask who it is or not?"  
"N-no! I don't."

Problem solved. What had he asked about before? Firework magic. She said she wanted to learn so she could put on performances. Akko made it clear she had trouble in a lot of areas of magic, but Andrew saw a very real talent for spectacle in what little he had seen. Akko's magic commanded attention, and putting it on display seemed like a nice fit for the girl. "So," he began again. "About your firework magic."

"Okay fine!" Akko interrupted him again. "I uh, I'll tell you if you don't tell anyone else, o-okay?" Honestly, this girl needed to make up her mind.

"W-well, okay so...there's this…girl?" She looked at him to judge his reaction, and when his face didn't falter, she continued somewhat less hesitantly. "Y-yeah. So there's this girl, and she's really pretty and smart and stuff and she's a Luna Nova student too, and she's basical-"

"Wait, you don't have a crush on Diana Cavendish, do you?"

"GAH! How did you-?! Don't do that!"

They hardly seemed like a good match for each other. Akko, by her own admission, had no magical history in her blood at all, and Diana's family had been very prestigious. At one point. Diana was practically the opposite of Akko. She was haughty, hard-working, no-nonsense and very uptight. How could she and Akko even stand to be in the same room?

…But then again, hadn't Andrew been described as all of those things as well?

"Well then," Andrew said. "I suppose love is blind."

"Don't be mean! Diana is really nice when you get to know her! It's just…" Akko's eyes cast downward, suddenly very interested in her boots. "Well, I just don't really know how to _talk_ to people about crushes. And Diana is practically perfect at everything while I screw everything up. I'm surprised she even talks to me, sometimes. I could never tell her that I have a crush or anything…"

Andrew found his hand going to her shoulder to comfort her. Yet another thing he never would've thought of doing only months ago. "You don't screw everything up, Akko. Aren't you the school hero now? Almost everyone saw you stop that missile." Akko met his gaze again, but hardly looked more like her confident self.

"Yeah, but she helped me with that, remember? Because she's perfect at everything!" Andrew could think of quite a number of faults he had with Diana, but he wasn't cruel enough to mock a girl's crush to her face. Still though, Akko had won over Andrew's friendship with her steadfast and virtually blind determination. Just seeing the bright bubbly witch so uncharacteristically sullen put a huge damper on his mood. No, he had to do _something_ to fix this.

"Well…" he thought aloud. "Maybe, I could try talking to her, try and see how she feels? Maybe I could even put in a good word for you…" He looked back over to his friend, and her expression had changed to wide-eyed admiration.

"You...would do that? Really?" And just as soon as it had left, Akko's happy disposition had returned. "Yay! Andrew, that'd be amazing! I mean, d-don't tell her I have a crush on her yet or anything, but if you gave me something to work off of…!"

"Hey," Andrew smiled. "That's what…bros do, right?"

* * *

And so, after dropping Akko off and saying their goodbyes, Andrew found himself making a detour to knock on Diana's door. These things may not be his expertise, but if he could get Diana looking in the right direction, Akko would be over the moon. His hand rapped against her door, and after a moment, Diana herself opened it, and her eyebrows raised.

"Andrew? This is a surprise."

"Ah, hello Diana. I was hoping you we-"He found himself interrupted by an ear-grating shrill noise. Gazing past Diana's (now tensed) shoulders, he spotted her two dorm mates practically attached to each other, looking quite elated to see him. This might make things awkward. Not only was he hoping to talk to Diana more privately, but frankly?

He had no idea what the girls' names were.

"A-Andrew Hanbridge?!" the red-headed one squealed.  
"Oh my god! W-what brings you to our room?" The darker haired one squeaked out.

 _Yes,_ he thought to himself, _this will get awkward very fast._

"Ah, I am actually here to discuss something with Diana." He explained, turning back to her. "Do you have a few minutes to spare?" Diana gave a beautiful, practiced smile Andrew recognized all too well.

"Of course. Please come in, Andrew. Make yourself at home."

He politely thanked her for her hospitality, and did his best to ignore her teammates' insistence that he could sit by them. He really had been hoping Diana would step out so she wouldn't have to do this in front of them.

"I had just been polishing up some school work when you stopped by," Diana explained, taking a seat at her desk. She gestured to an extra chair adjacent to her for him to sit to while they talked. "You're not one to usually visit Luna Nova, so I was surprised to see you. What do you need to talk about?"

Andrew found his mind momentarily blanking. He was hoping to come in here, get her opinion on Akko, talk up her qualities and get Diana interested, but now that he was here, he had no idea how to start this conversation and steer it where he wanted to go. Obviously he couldn't just come in and ask her about romance out of the blue, that was completely untactful. So what should he talk about…?

 _Ah, that could work._

"I haven't had the chance to speak with you after you stopped that missile. I thought I should stop by and see how you were holding up."

Diana smiled politely, using her wand to tip a teapot and pour herself a cup. It seemed excessive, all things considered, considering she had two working hands.

"Yes, that was quite the adventure. Of course, I was hardly the one doing most of the work on that."

"Of course, of course. There were quite a number of you on that broom. Though by the end, it was just you and Akko, wasn't it?"  
She gave a soft hum and she sipped her tea. "Akko's teammates as well as Green Team were invaluable to our efforts, but in the end, the whole thing was Akko's doing. She was really quite impressive."

As expected of his upbringing, Andrew had spent many years learning how to read people, a vital skill for anyone in a leadership position. Diana had grown up quite similar to Andrew, with eyes upon her, judging her family name by her actions. Just as she could read him, she also knew as well as he did how important it was to remain neutral and controlled. A childish, emotional outburst would reflect poorly on a household, after all. But everyone had tells that could give themselves away, and if Andrew hoped to establish what Diana thought of Akko, he just needed to keep pressing, looking for her buttons until he got past her defenses.

She offered him tea. He declined.

"Yes, everyone was quite amazed when we saw you two up there. But it was all Akko's doing, you say?"

"Akko was the one chosen to wield the Shiny Rod. The final shot that destroyed that thing was her magic, all I did was help to steady it. Besides, she was the one that inspired the rest of us to take action.

She was giving Akko all the credit, which was a good sign. Of course, there's still no way to say whether this was simply being friendly or if Diana found Akko inspiring in a _deeper_ sense, but still, she was amicable towards her. If nothing else, it was a good start.

"Akko has done quite a bit to impress me, ever since I first visited with my father some months ago." Andrew offered. "She certainly has a talent for it." _How to phrase this, how to phrase this…_ "She…said she wishes to be a performer and show everyone her magic, right?"

Diana turned and looked at him more directly. She was surprised, but was it because she hadn't known that, or she didn't think Andrew knew that?

"I-yes, that was always Akko's dream. She wants to be like Shiny Chariot, and show the world magic as she sees it." She looked down at her tea. "She's very…ambitious about it, isn't she?"

Okay, so she broke eye contact. Her voice sounded fond. Andrew's read about embarrassment, and Diana seemed embarrassed. This was a good sign, indeed. There could be something more than friendship there, he just needed to keep pushing.

"Hmm." He hummed innocently. "What do you think of Akko, Diana?"

Her brows furrowed, and she gave him an odd look. From across the room, Diana's teammates, who had been pretending not to eavesdrop, whispered to each other. Andrew winced. _Laid it on too thick._

"I mean," he tried to recover, make it less awkward. "You two didn't seem like that good of friends when I paid a visit to your home. I'm just curious."

"I…suppose we weren't. Akko surprised me quite a bit that day." Andrew gave a quiet hum, trying not to sound too interested. Diana was beginning to suspect there was more to this conversation, and Andrew needed to choose his words more carefully. Akko wouldn't forgive him if she blew this for her. As long as Diana didn't look too deeply into this, he could get out of this and work on a game plan, which shouldn't be too har-

"Andrew." Diana spoke up, interrupting his train of thought. "Why…exactly are you asking me about Akko?"

"Oh well…I…"

 _Not good._

His mind was racing, trying to think of something convincing to say, to throw Diana off his trail, but his thoughts were coming up blank. The strange look Diana gave him from above her tea deepened, and he swore he could feel her teammates' eyes staring at the back of his head.

 _Come on Andrew! You're a Hanbridge, the top student at Appleton Academy!_ _You've spent your whole life learning how to speak clearly, and now Kagari's counting on you. Just think of something to say!_

His thoughts still jumbled in his head, but he was not so young and immature to let it show. Quietly clearing his throat so Diana couldn't hear him collecting his nerves, Andrew lied crisp, clean, and politely.

"You see, I was planning to ask Akko out on a date."

 _Why._

From behind him, he could hear Diana's teammates fainting in shock, and Andrew felt like being unconscious sounded very nice right about now. As if it couldn't get worse, he had been too busy mentally slapping himself to even notice Diana's initial reaction, and by the time his mind caught up with him to look, she already had a mask of perfect, un-opinionated, neutrality decorating her features. If the lie was able to get her to reveal her true feelings, he missed his chance.

"I see." She said.  
"Yes." He agreed.  
"Well, I wish you luck with your endeavor." She said.  
"Thank you." He agreed.

They exchanged short, polite goodbyes, and Diana turned back to her work as Andrew found his way out the door.

* * *

Upon leaving Diana's room, Andrew made his way to Akko who couldn't wait to hear of his progress.

"Akko, do you remember how you once said you had trouble speaking in public whereas I don't make those mistakes?"

"Yeah…?"

Andrew used his many years of lectures in proper dictation and etiquette in order to phrase what he wanted to say in the most simple, concise, and elegant manner possible.

"Well, I fucked up."


	2. Chapter 2

Now Akko appreciated a kind gesture here and there. Really, with how just about everyone short of her Diana and her own two teammates treated her all year, she needed a break every now and then. Well, maybe just her two teammates if she was being honest. Diana didn't come around till later. Actually, considering how things went with Sucy half the time, maybe it was just Lotte…

The point was her luck was awful and she knew it. And wasn't this just typical of it? One of her best friends just told her crush she was taken. How was she supposed to ask Diana out if she thought she had a boyfriend? Frustrated, Akko ran her hands through her hair, sorting out bitter thoughts in her head.

 _Everything's gone wrong, and this time I didn't even do anything this time!_

No, that wasn't really fair. Andrew was just being nice, and it's not like Akko couldn't understand good intentions leading to everything going straight down the toilet. She's certainly been in that position. Once or twice. And she always managed to come out on top, without getting expelled or exploded. If she put her mind to it, she could probably sort this whole thing out. She just needed a plan of attack.

 _Andrew said Diana didn't really say much after he left, so it's not like anyone else knows what he said or anything. I'll just tell that Andrew's not the one I like. Easy as that!_

But then, if she told her that, she might ask who Akko _did_ like. What was she supposed to say then? Diana had pretty much just started being her friend. What if she found out Akko had a crush on her? What if she thought she was weird? What if she laughed? What if because she laughed, the whole class laughed?! What if because everyone was laughing at her she failed more of her tests and then Hoolbrooke laughed at her and then she got expelled and then she got sent home and her parents laughed and then _also_ Diana thought she was weird?!

That whole situation would be a disaster, clearly. Akko had been doing her best to learn how to be a more responsible witch. She had no desire to cause anyone any more grief. Besides that, Professor Finneran had begun to complain that she was running out of different punishments. So naturally, the responsible thing to do in this situation would be to lie and find some other way of solving the problem. She just had to tell Diana somehow that she wasn't _actually_ dating Andrew without letting her know that whole thing.

Which was why Akko was going to class early for a change. As she entered the classroom, she spotted Diana at her desk, already looking over her notes. Exactly where Akko figured where she'd be. Diana was always hard at work with something or the other. And no matter how much she had on her plate or how many people were relying on her, Diana maintained a cool head and never let her nerves show. It really was amazing how determined she could be.

 _But still_ , Akko smiled to herself, _Diana should have more fun sometimes!_ She made her way to the desk where Diana sat studying and waved to get the girl's attention, greeting her cheerfully.

"Good morning, Diana!" But the witch in question barely responded, only flicking her eyes up from her notebook for a brief moment to assess who was speaking to her, before going right back down to her notes.

"Good morning, Akko." Her tone was flat and disinterested. Akko blinked in response. That hadn't been the reaction she was expecting.

"Uh, what are you doing?"

"Studying." This time, she hadn't even bothered to look up at her when she talked. Usually she at least gave a friendly smile, or at least she had since Akko had convinced her to come back and finish her schooling at Luna Nova not too long ago. But before Akko could question her, she heard Hannah and Barbara approach Diana's desk.

"Diana, you left even earlier than usua-!" They stopped in their tracks when they spotted her next to Diana's desk. "Akko?"

Akko still wasn't exactly sure how to deal with Hannah and Barbara. On the one hand, ever since she and Diana became better friends, the two had, more or less, quit teasing her. Barbara had also become better friends with Lotte, bonding over their mutual love of the _NightFall_ books. But on the other, Akko wasn't exactly sure she and they were friends yet. Neither Akko nor Hannah and Barbara had really worked past their rotten first impressions, and any newfound respect they had for Akko seemed to be in spite of their feelings on the witch. She had mostly figured if she just kept improving, she might be able to get on good terms with them. But at the moment, they were just looking at her strangely.

The three stared at each other for a moment, before Barbara cast an uneasy look at her red-headed roommate and spoke up. "Uh…hey Akko."

"Hey…?"

"Um…" Hannah started. "What are you doing here?" Akko opened her mouth to speak, only to hear Diana's voice respond in her stead. She had still not glanced up from her book.

"She simply came by to greet me. That is all. There is no need to be concerned about it." _Ouch._ She had thought she and Diana had grown at least a little closer, but now she was acting cold to her again. It was like all the time they spent together had vanished, and now Diana was back to how she treated her when she first came to school. Plus, Hannah and Barbara were still giving her weird looks. It was like all 3 of them were out of sorts.

"Is everything okay with you guys?" Akko asked. Diana didn't respond, while Hannah and Barbara just shared a look. Barbara fidgeted for a second.

"I guess we're just surprised with the kind of people you hang out with, Akko." What did thatmean?

"I mean, we were…sorta…maybe…a _little_ wrong about you when you first transferred," Hannah downplayed, "but still, to think you'd be in that sort of crowd…" What did _that_ mean? Why were Hannah and Barbara being all funky with her right now?

"B-but you know, good for you though." Hannah continued. "I guess you must have some really good qualities, consider-." The conversation was suddenly cut short when Diana suddenly slammed her notebook shut.

"If you three are quite done," Diana said shortly. "Class is going to start soon, and some students are attempting to study. You should quietly take your seats, please."

Even Hannah and Barbara seemed taken aback at the outburst, sitting on either side of Diana without a word. Akko didn't move, gaping at Diana. She still refused to look up, reopening her notebook. It was a lost cause for now. Akko supposed he might as well go sit down, and figure out what was going on after class. As she turned to leave, she gave one last wave to the girl, hoping for something, anything.

"See you later, Diana."

"Hmm."

She had come into class in high spirits, but now her feet seemed to drag as she went back to her seat. Her first class and already things were going wrong. Figuring she could at least vent to Lotte and Sucy, she watched the door for her friends as she sat. Constanze and Jasminka entered not too long after, but as they saw Akko, Constanze's face scrunched up, and Jasminka looked confused. Avery and her teammates walked in, talking about something or other, but they too looked at Akko sideways and suddenly started whispering to each other while stealing glances. In fact, everyone seemed to be watching her. What in the world is going on today?

 _I don't have something on my face, do I? I washed my face and everything this morning. Oh man, if I have zits or something…!_

It wasn't until several more pointed glances and strange gawking from several more students until Lotte and Sucy finally came in. She smiled at them, and they smiled back. It lifted the tension a little, seeing her best friends still treating her like normal. As they sat down next to her, Akko pulled Lotte into a half-hug. She would've given one to Sucy, but as a rule, she forbade hugs.

"Man, am I glad to see you guys! Everyone in class is acting super weird today." As Akko went over how everyone had been treating her oddly today, neither of teammates interrupted her with questions. And while they looked sympathetic, they also didn't look terribly surprised. There was definitely something up today. "You guys don't know what's going on, do you?"

Lotte shrugged her shoulders helplessly. "I guess everyone's heard the rumors, Akko. It's just sort of shocking, is all. I was gonna ask if they were really true."

 _Rumors?_ When Akko simply looked lost, Sucy finally caught on to her confusion. Why was she always the last to know stuff?

"You really don't know, Akko?" If she did, maybe she could fix this and stop having everyone stare at her.

"Hannah and Barbara have pretty much told everyone Andrew asked you out."

 _Oh._

* * *

Classes dragged on that day. They always seemed to, mostly because Akko was lacking when it came to technical knowledge, and her fierce willpower only compensated for her utter lack of skill for so long. But the fact that she felt conscious of eyes constantly staring at her all day was not very helpful. Akko wanted to perform like Shiny Chariot did, but she wanted her _magic_ to be the center of attention, not herself. And definitely not her made-up love life! She spent the entire day acutely aware of everyone judging and gossiping about her, trying to drown out hushed whispers and avoid making eye contact with anyone gaping at her like she was the strangest thing they'd ever seen. When she finally, _finally_ , got back to her room, she made a beeline for her bed and plopped down face first, letting out a long, tired groan.

"Guuuuys…." Akko whined. "How many people did they tell…it's like the whole school knows…"

Lotte could only a manage a sad smile for her friend as she put her school supplies away, while Sucy simply patted Akko's back as she went to lay down on her bed. "I'm pretty sure," she started, as she cracked open a book on poisons, "that they only told a few people, but then those people told their friends and they told _their_ friends."

"Yeah, but the whole school was looking at me all weird today! Andrew was only here last night!"

Lotte scratched the side of her head. "It's a pretty big rumor. Plenty of people around school have a crush on Andrew, and you're…um…"

"The school dunce?"

"Sucy!" Lotte tried to admonish, but Sucy didn't look all that admonished. She merely shrugged, the edge of her lips starting to turn up into a smirk. "I heard Professor Finneran make a joke about the Hanbridges lowering their standards." Whatever hope Akko had that talking to her friends would be therapeutic were getting dashed real quick. Andrew hadn't even _mentioned_ Hannah and Barbara were there, and now the entire school, probably the whole _world_ at this point, thought she was dating the wrong person. Only her own teammates had even dared to ask if the rumors were true, and she assured them quite vehemently they were not.

Why did this sort of thing always happen to her, dammit? She wasn't that bad a person, she didn't deserve this!

Though, it could probably only be worse if the rumor came out that Andrew had been trying to set her up with her actual crush. If Hannah and Barbara had learned that and spread it around, Akko was sure she would die on the spot. She could take some comfort in that the only person who knew about her real crush was Andrew.

"I guess I found the rumors unbelievable anyway." Lotte sat down next to Akko on her bed. "You guys hang out a lot, but I thought you had a crush on Diana." Sucy nodded in agreement from across the room. Akko was glad that even with everything that always seemed to happen to her, she could always count on her teammates to-.

Wait a second…

It had suddenly just registered with Akko what exactly her roommates had just agreed about. Red-faced, she sat up on her bed, just barely avoiding hitting the top of her head on Lotte's bunk. "H-how do _you_ two know about that?"

"O-Oh, um!" Lotte waved her hands in front of her, smiling unconvincingly. "I guess with all the _NightFall_ I read, I'm just observant about romance is all."

"She's lying." Sucy looked up from her book, smirking. "You talk in your sleep sometimes."

And so, Akko's face went right back down to bury itself in her bedsheets. Things seemed pretty okay just 24 hours ago, and now everything was terrible. Everyone thought she was dating her best friend, and the only people who didn't think she was dating her best friend had figured out she had a crush on her former rival. Because she talked in her sleep! This was it. This was how she would die.

"Imf nomf likf I camf talm t' Diampha abuff iff…" Akko mumbled into her bed.

"What?"

"It's not like I can talk to Diana about it…" she repeated, lifting her head. "She's mad at me for something, and plus everyone thinks I'm dating Andrew now so I can't talk to her at all…" That seemed to surprise her teammates.

"She was mad at you?"

"What'd you do this time, Akko?"

"I didn't do _anything_ Sucy! Yesterday we talked before flight class a little and she was being really nice and said I improved a lot on my flying and stuff, and now when I just said good morning she just brushed me off! She wouldn't even say a word to me!"

Lotte's eyes widened, and she turned to Sucy's bed.

"You don't think Diana is…?"  
"How should I know, I don't pay attention to how Diana thinks."  
"But Sucy, it would explain how she was acting, wouldn't it?"  
"Maybe in some bad fanfiction, but this isn't _NightFall_."

Akko sat up again, and this time she did her head on Lotte's bunk. She rubbed the sore spot on her head, before glaring at her friends. How many times was she gonna be left out of the loop today? "What are you two talking about?"

"I mean, I'm not really sure," Lotte scratched her chin. "But Diana's been a lot friendlier lately, especially towards you, and she deals with a lot, so I don't think she'd start acting rude again unless she had a good reason. So maybe she's jealous?"

"You…you think she might be jealous because she thinks I'm dating Andrew?" That was an…interesting thought. Part of her wanted to believe it, especially since that would mean that Diana might actually like her back, wouldn't it? But then, even if it was true, Akko didn't know how to confess to her before the whole school thought she was dating the most eligible bachelor on campus. How in the world could she talk to Diana about it now with everyone watching her? Before, it was just too embarrassing, but now, it was practically impossible. But then, that still meant she had a chance, right? Maybe things weren't so terrible.

"She could be jealous because she wants to date Andrew." Sucy piped in. "…Hey, don't look at me like that, I'm just putting all the cards on the table."

 _No, never mind. Everything is still terrible._

Sucy and Lotte continued to debate, and made several attempts to bring Akko back into their conversation, but when Akko remained despondent, they eventually left to her to stew in peace before moving on to other topics as best they could. She simply laid in bed for hours, going over the possibilities in head, long after it got dark.

In hindsight, she'd probably should've at least taken off her shoes before jumping into bed. She'd definitely regret it come laundry day.

But for now, all she could focus on was trying to think of a solution to her problem. She hadn't made any big messes for a while. The worst she did was crash into a tree yesterday at flight practice because she wasn't looking, and Professor Nelson made a crack about she never expected she'd see Akko in a flight accident. Diana had lectured Akko about being careful after, but she didn't seem angry at her, and the whole incident didn't seem like it'd be enough to cause Diana's personality to do a 180. If she was jealous, that might explain it, but then she couldn't deny Sucy had a point. Especially if Diana was being short with _her_. Besides, Andrew was wealthy and handsome and confident, while last Tuesday Diana had seen Akko walk into the side of the greenhouse because the glass was really clean and she thought it was a door. Andrew was a catch, and Akko was whatever the opposite of a catch was.

The whole reason Andrew had even offered to talk to her in the first place was because Akko really had no idea how the other girl felt. Diana always kept her emotions close to her chest. Akko could talk to her, but if she was jealous of either her or Andrew, she could end up just making things worse, and the last thing she wanted was to lose any of her friends. Akko may believe in a believing heart, but that was a lot different than _talking_ about it, and she knows she's not good at that. Which was again the reason she wanted Andrew to give her a head start with this whole thing, but even _that_ hadn't worked for her at all. In fact, she had less of an idea of where she stood with Diana now. Losing out on her crush would be one thing, but she'd at least like to still be friends with the girl after everything. And Akko had no idea how to even go about that if she didn't have a baseline to start from.

She let out a sigh. If Diana wasn't always so guarded, always avoiding any emotional outburst, this could've been easy. It was late into the night, and she could see her friends fast asleep. Maybe they could've offered some insight, but she had been too busy wallowing to think of it at the time. Akko would be on her own, but where could she even start…? Her eyes wandered the darkened room, as if hoping the answer would materialize right in front of her. Despite being a literal school for witches, it seemed like life wasn't going to be that mystical. After a few minutes she was simply staring despondently at Lotte's desk, and no amount of determination would make any of her stuff help her. Not her brightly colored pencils, not her shiny crystal ball, not her cheesy _NightFall_ books.

…Unless…

 _That might work…Maybe I can fix this!_ Akko sat up in her bed once more, her determination renewed. Her mind raced as she put together a simple, yet beautiful plan that would not only get rid of all these weird looks, but would also be the key to winning over Diana's affections. She couldn't just lay around wasting time, she needed to get on this ASAP. First things first, she needed to make a call.

* * *

If it wasn't for Finneran and her stupid bias against all technology, maybe Akko could find a phone in a decent amount of time. It was a crappy payphone Luna Nova put on the edge of campus apparently because they legally had to, but this was an emergency, so anything was better than nothing. Fumbling with the coins, she paid for a single call and rapidly dialed Andrew's cell number. The dial tone rang once. And then again. Why wasn't this boy picking up already? He should've appreciated the dire circumstances. It wasn't until the third dial tone that the tone was cut off and she heard Andrew start a tired greeting. But greetings weren't important right now, and Akko cut him off before he could even start.

"Andrew! I can fix this! We'll just pretend to date and that'll make her jealous so she'll admit her feelings! It solves everything!"

There was a long pause on the other end. Andrew must be trying and failing to poke holes in her brilliant plan. Finally, after a long, agonizing silence, Andrew spoke up.

"Akko, for god's sake, it is one in the morning."

* * *

 **(Wow! I was not expecting so many reviews! I have no idea how you people found this so fast. But it's really encouraging that it's connecting with so many of you. I wish this site had a better way of responding to reviews because I don't wanna send out a million private messages, but I think if someone takes the time to say they like this stuff, I gotta take the time to respond, you know? I really appreciate the comments, especially since I wasn't really going into this hoping for any.**

 **Anyway this is Chapter 2 of 4. Chapter 3 has the Bros putting the plan into action!)**


	3. Chapter 3

Andrew wasn't about to hesitate in helping Akko out. He had been the one to start this mess for her, and he wasn't so cruel as to leave one of his few, true, friends out to dry. His conscience wouldn't let him rest until he fixed this for her, and besides that, he had already committed himself to getting her and Diana together. He was going to see this through, even if it meant…this.

When Akko had come to retrieve him in the morning, she had to go over her plan again, because frankly he hadn't caught a single word of it over the phone. The human mind, in his opinion, was not built to register information when woken up at an ungodly hour. But now, they were sitting outside of a quiet peaceful café not far from the school, putting her plan into action, which was…

Okay, the plan was awful if he was going to be honest. Why Akko expected this to work was beyond him. She should've just admitted the truth. And yeah, granted, he should've admitted his mistake to Diana when they had spoken, but old habits die hard, and he had a reputation to maintain around the Cavendish family, along with the entirety of Luna Nova. It's just that Akko didn't care about that.

But pretending to date, for the sole purpose of trying to see if it would make Diana jealous seemed short-sighted and just _begging_ to go wrong. Akko was not to be talked out of it, no matter what arguments he made, so the best he could do for now was damage control to at least try and keep the plan managed. Less of a clean-up and more of a controlled demolition.

He was at least not alone in his efforts, as Akko's bespectacled friend Lotte had come to offer her input, limited as it might be. She was working off the writings of "Night Falling," possibly some dating magazine or romance column from the way Akko and Lotte referred to it.

"Akko," Lotte spoke unsure and demure, in contrast to Akko's hardheaded attitude. "I'm not really sure about this. I thought you _didn't_ want people to think you're dating Andrew."  
"I didn't, but everyone already does anyway. So I'm just gonna use it to my advantage. Besides, you brought up the idea that Diana might be jealous in the first place."

"But wouldn't it be easier to just…talk to Diana about it?" What a pleasure of a girl. Nice to see someone thinking clearly.

"Well, maybe I could've, but because of Hannah and Barbara, I can't even talk to her without her getting grumpy and a million people watching my every move. You could've mentioned them before, Andrew." She turned to pout at him, and certainly he would've felt guilty about it if not for one piece of it he failed to understand.

"…who are Hannah and Barbara?"Akko just groaned and ignored him.

"Anyway, lying got us into this mess, so lying will get us out! You guys gotta trust me on this. When have my plans ever not work- HEY! Both of you close your mouths! At least let me _finish_ before you start being rude!"

"With friends like these," he thought aloud, "who needs enemies?"  
"How many times do I gotta tell you Andrew? We're better than friends! We're bros!" She made finger guns at him. No matter how many times she did it, Andrew was not going to do it back.

"You're so _boring_ sometimes, Andrew." She whined. "Why do you never do it back?"

"I have my limits for how much embarrassing things I do in public, Akko, and you test it every day." That earned him a soft giggle from Lotte, and Akko just smirked at him.

"Ah, you're so vain, too! Always obsessed with how people think about you! Can't let anyone see you having any fun, huh?" She pointed at him accusingly.

Andrew just turned up his nose at her in an especially haughty way. "Of course not. Father would have a conniption if he saw his son having _fun_. We certainly can't handle another stain on the family name."

"Poor poor Andrew! He's just too shy around his adoring public, isn't he, Lotte?" She giggled again, and gave a little wink in his direction, and Andrew couldn't hold back a laugh at the whole exchange. He never really had the chance to meet with her before, and mostly only knew about her from second-hand information from her teammate, but the girl seemed nice enough, if a little soft-spoken to be friends with a girl like Akko. Funny how little being mocked in front of someone he didn't really know that well bothered him.

"And speaking of obsessions," Andrew teased back, "We're only here because of yours, you know. You even called it one yourself if you can recall."

"It is _not_ an obsession! It's a healthy crush!" She turned to her teammate for some moral support. "Back me up here, Lotte."

"Well, you talk about her in your sleep, Akko."  
"D-Don't say that! No one needs to know that!" Akko waved frantically. Andrew was fighting to keep the smirk off his face. Really, he was.

"You talk about Diana in your sleep?" He was pretty sure he was smirking.  
"Oh my god…" She buried her face in her hands, and her cheeks were tinged pink. He had fought it and lost and he was definitely smirking.

"If it makes you feel any better about it, you only ever mumbled her name in your sleep. Sucy wasn't around for the real embarrassing stuff…" Lotte suddenly seemed to realize her statement was not at all comforting. "Er, no! I mean- uh!" She stammered to play it off, but it was clear they both had heard it _quite_ clearly. Akko in particular looked very pale.

"…Do I even wanna know what the really embarrassing stuff is?"  
"Uh, well…one night while Sucy was away you said something in your sleep about Diana and…um, Chariot's costume."  
"Oh my goooood." Akko went face down on the table and hid her head in her arms. The tips of her ears were positively pink. Andrew may not really know what Chariot dressed like, but nonetheless, he filed this little tidbit away for later, should Akko ever get in his face about messing up her love life.

This Lotte girl was A-OK in his book. No wonder Frank liked her.

"Tell me something, Lotte." She seemed surprised that he would address her, or at least that they would speak over Akko's unmoving form. "This whole ordeal is my fault, so I must be here to correct it, but why are _you_ here? Do you think Akko's plan's really going to work?"

"Oh, um, well, Akko's plans do tend to go wrong a lot, but somehow things end up working out okay in the end. It makes some sense to me, the plan that is. If Diana is jealous, seeing her love interest on a date with a romantic rival with spur her into action, so she'll admit the feelings she didn't even know she had."

"That seems…naively idealistic. And this is advice from your 'Night Falling' that you two keep referring to?"  
"Um…! More or less? Something similar happened in volume 126. It…sort of worked out there? I think it should be fine."  
"Sort of?"  
"Well, both of the people involved died, but when they were trapped in Hell together, the experience forced them to work together to escape, and that friendship awakened their feelings!"

 _Goodness._ Andrew thought. _Witch courtship rituals are dangerous._

Lotte's plan was to hide across the street and do what she could to get Diana in the right place. This was apparently Diana's favorite café, and she often came here to buy tea when she ran out of the brand she used at school. Coincidentally, there had been some strange magic powder mysteriously released near Diana's room that had caused her teabags to sprout mushrooms, leaving her without her favorite drink. None of the three of them, nor the one member of Red team that was absent, had any knowledge of how such a thing could've happened.

To make matters worse, it seemed like many of the other chairs in the café terrace were mysteriously wet and sticky. Definitely not places for someone of high status to sit on. But fortunately, there was _one_ table that just so happened to be within earshot to where Akko and Andrew would have their oh-so romantic lunch. An unfortunate series of circumstances that happened to work in their favor. Like magic. Magically. With witch magic, which is what he was saying. He never claimed to have a sense of humor.

"Hey Andrew?"  
"Hmm?"  
"What exactly do people _do_ on dates, anyway?"  
"What do people-?! This was _your_ plan! You don't know?"  
"If I knew how to act on dates we wouldn't _be_ here!"

Well, _that_ was a fair point. He didn't even think was a good idea, and now he had to take charge. But it should be fine. Andrew had never asked a girl out, but he _had_ been on many dates in the past, for various reasons. Thinking back, he recounted his past experiences to give Akko a baseline to work around. In general, the way his dates had gone had them showering him with compliments and adoration, while Andrew feigned interest and failed to reciprocate any positive feeling…which sounded very snobby when he put it together like that, but he could work just as well from an example of what _not_ to do.

"You're trying to flatter the other person. It's sort of like…In some sense, you're acting as a salesman, but you're selling the idea of a relationship with this person. Talk yourself up, make yourself seem desirable. Sell the idea that you and they are a good match for each other." Akko looked…pensive at the crass description of dating. Perhaps another method would ease the situation.

"Here's what we'll do. Pretend I'm Diana. It should make things less tense for you." Dutifully, Akko pinched her eyes shut and presumably began to imagine she was sitting across from her crush.

"Just start with something simple. Compliment your date's appearance."  
"Diana, I think you have a hot bod." Akko said immediately.  
"Good, good." Andrew said. "Now, let's try it again but dial it way the hell down."  
"Uh…Diana, I think you have a bod?"  
"And you say you've never dated before."

Akko was hopeless when it came to the romantic, and had admitted as much herself. As they went through example after example, Akko would choke and go overboard. She'd either say the very first thing that popped into her head or she'd overthink things and stress herself out. While the context was different, it was not a problem all that unfamiliar to Andrew. One of the biggest obstacles to public speaking was learning to relax. If you were anxious, it showed in your voice and incited mistakes more often. (A fact he had re-learned quite recently.) Akko was confident, right up until she needed to really express herself, where she simply fell apart. He just needed to take the pressure off somehow.

"Akko, tell me something. What do you like about Diana?" She stared at him a moment, until it had clicked what he had asked her, where upon her face lit up a bright crimson.

"E-eh? H-how is that gonna help with our date?"  
"Just…trust me on this. Let it out. Where did your feelings come from? What made you decide Diana was the one you liked? "

Akko's cheeks burned red, and she seemed to look everywhere but directly at him.  
"Um, w-well…I don't when it really started…I didn't actually l-like her when she first came to school, you know? B-but um, I always saw her as a great witch, even when I thought she was a mean person. She was really b-beautiful and talented, a-and I kinda wanted to be like that too. But over time, I saw that Diana was a lot nicer than I thought. She's really passionate about everything she does, and she works really hard. She doesn't really let people in, but she's a really nice person. Even when we first met and she teased me a lot, it was because she cared about Luna Nova and being a great witch, like I did. And after a while, she even started helping me out with a lot of things, even though everyone said I was a failure. She helped defend me, and when things got down, she came back to support me. I wanted to make her smile, for all the times she helped me. She has a really pretty smile…"

As her impromptu confession had gone on, much of her nervousness seemed to fade away, as she simply thought through all her feelings out loud, letting the words flow. When she finished, it was clear to Andrew she was imagining one of Diana's rare smiles, and even he had to admit, while he really only asked her to get her to speak without stressing herself out, she really did care for Diana, and he found himself starting to wonder if Akko would be as positive an influence on Diana as she was for her. Akko's eyes drifted back up to the table, catching Andrew looking at her. After a moment, it seemed to suddenly register with her what had transpired.

"A-ah! I said all that out loud! T-that was really…! A-Andrew, don't tell her I said that, okay?" He couldn't hold back the chuckle that escaped from his throat, as Akko cheeks flushed.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Akko. But you shouldn't dismiss that so easily. When you just let yourself speak, and didn't worry so much, you spoke much more clearly. Just relax, Akko. You could probably say all that to Diana herself if you just let yourself."

"D-do you really think I should? I mean, t-that was sort of cheesy, and I don't think I could say all that right to her face or anything."  
"Hmm…perhaps we should get back on topic. Let's talk about body language for a second. So say I'm Diana and I…"

They went through several more exercises, and while she still had difficulties, pretending to talk to her crush after giving out her confession the way she had seemed to erase any nervousness Akko had. She regained much of the confidence in herself that she usually boasted, and frequently broke character to boast how this was a great plan, or to make it clear when she said something she would never actually say to Diana's face.

Andrew still was not confident in the plan, and to be honest pretending to be a girl so Akko could bounce compliments off him was beginning to get too weird. But it had helped, and Akko seemed relaxed and confident enough that if this was going to work, she could pull it off. All she had to do was change the pronouns around.

"Ooh, so what's like the boy version of Diana? Dino? Damon? What should I call you?"  
"…Andrew."  
"Oh. Heh heh, yeah, sorry…hey, can I call you Andy?"  
"No."

A few minutes later, there was a flashing from across the street. Lotte was using an illumination spell, the signal they agreed on. Diana was on her way, and it was game-time. Andrew steeled his nerves. His father had just begun to reverse his position on witches, and under Andrew's insistence was beginning to conceive that they might be a positive influence on society, not some outdated relic as he, as they, had both thought before. He _really_ hoped this didn't end embarrassingly. The last thing he needed right now was for his father and all the very important people he associated with to see the Hanbridge heir make an absolute joke of himself in public.

From afar, he could see Diana walking down the street. With practiced poise, she walked gracefully to the café to order herself a drink, just as they had hoped she would. She hadn't seemed to notice Akko or Andrew at the table, but with any luck, when she was forced to sit down at the only available table, she wouldn't have much choice but to see them there, singing sweet nothings to one-another. In turn, she would, theoretically, realize she had loved and lost, and would admit to her feelings. Andrew would step out of her way gracefully, Akko gets a girlfriend, and Luna Nova dismisses the rumors as a case of mistaken identity.

Which really didn't seem like a stable way to start a relationship, but the time for backing out was long gone. When Akko committed to something, she was bullheaded in going to do it, a quality that seemed to prove infectious for how far Andrew was out of his own comfort zone here.

Diana had now sat herself down at the other table, and her eyes were closed as she brought her teacup up to her nose to take in its scent. She still hadn't noticed them, and Andrew was still mentally preparing himself for this. God, what a weird plan. His father would've had a heart attack if he heard about this. As for Andrew, he was simply playing the whole thing off in his head as an exceptionally involved public speech. _Do or die time, I suppose._

"Remember Akko," he whispered to his 'date.' "Be subtle about this. Don't look at Diana too much." She rolled her eyes at him, but still nodded in agreement. He took another deep breath. He _really_ hoped this went well. Who knows what plan B would end up being.

"AHAHAHA!" He laughed heartily a joke his date had told him. "Akko, you're a riot!"

"Oooh, stop, you're just too much~" she sang, leaning on her arm coyly. As subtly as he possibly could, he flicked his eyes over to the adjacent table. He didn't let his eyes linger long, lest he ruin the whole thing, but Diana was definitely looking at them now. He only saw her face for a fraction of a second, but her brows were raised, and he would guess she hadn't expected them to be here.

"You really are adventurous, aren't you, Akko? It's never a dull moment with you." He had intended to talk up Akko's qualities to Diana before, when he had…well...Might as well do it now.

"Aw, but Di-Andrew. What's the point of life if not to be thrilling and exciting? We gotta have fun, you know?"  
"Well, it's as I said. Being with you is certainly both thrilling and exciting." He hadn't heard much from Diana yet, which was to be expected. She was not one to butt in to something as intimate as a date without reason. With any luck, and a (hopefully small) amount of flirting, they could give her plenty reason.

"Oh, but would you say I'm… _magical_?" She batted her lashes at him. _Ugh._ This is why he hoped it was small. He chose to give a light-hearted chuckle and indulge her for Diana's sake.

"Hm. You really can be quite funny sometimes Akko. Even with a pun as bad as that." She pretended to pout at him, and this time his laugh was more genuine. He kept his eyes away from their audience, but Akko was having more trouble. She was risking a quick glance at Diana's table, but not as subtle as she needed to be. He needed her focus back before she blew this for herself, so he kicked her shin under the table.

"AGH! W-why _Andy_ , aren't you just shameless!" _Don't get mad at me, you're being obvious!_

"Still though, all these adventures you're telling me about, it sounds like quite a perilous thing. You must be very brave, hm?"

"Oh! Uh, it's scary sometimes you know? But I always have my friends there, and they help me out. I don't think I could do it without them." She's said similar things in the past, so he knows she's not making it up, but still, giving credit to her friends when one of those included a Diana Cavendish was a smart move. _Not bad, Akko. Not bad at all_.

"…Ah, but you know Andrew, I'm still a pretty big deal on my own, you know?"  
"Oh?"  
"Mm-hmm. I don't know if you saw it, but _I_ saved the world once. Stopped a war, brought in a new age of magic, learned to fly a broom. That whole story."  
"I can assure you, Akko. I certainly didn't miss it…in fact, it was quite amazing to see you and your team save the day as you did. You looked magnificent up there." _Hint hint, Diana.  
_ "Well, it's to be expected from us heroes, you know?" _I know I said to talk yourself up, but don't get so self-indulgent now._

They talked about everything and nothing at all. As a whole, it was still strange doing this with not only someone watching, but when having her watch was the entire point. His eyes drifted across the street, where Lotte sat on a park bench, somewhat obscured from the café by a tree, and felt a little envious. She got to sit in a nice shady spot, reading a book and 'supervising' while he was roleplaying with a girl in front of her crush. And sure, he wouldn't have let Akko not accept his help in fixing this, but they better appreciate how skeevy this was.

Being honest, he didn't really know how to keep the conversation going. With all of his dates in the past, he had never been an… _active_ participant. There were only so many ways Andrew could think to appraise the witch while not being either obvious or creepy about it. If this was to work, he needed to push the right buttons, and it was difficult to do that without gauging how their audience was doing.

He had avoided looking at Diana, but he kept his ear open for any telltale sound from the girl. She definitely hadn't moved, and the only sound he heard from the other table was the occasional soft clicking of her teacup as she rested it on her saucer after taking a sip. He couldn't really interpret how she felt without looking at her face, which would be suspicious to say the least. Akko was having more trouble keeping her focus, but she was at least aware enough that she stopped herself from looking over several times. If Diana finished her tea, she would likely just leave, unless she could be given a good reason to stay. Dangerous as it was, Andrew decided he needed more input from her to work through this.

"This is a lovely little café, isn't it, Akko?" He changed the subject. Bringing up the scenery gave him an excuse to look around.  
"Eh? Yeah, I guess it's alri-I-I mean yeah! What a lovely little café!"

Gazing at his surroundings, he risked another quick glance to her table as fast and subtly as he could. She was still there, and she was definitely eyeing the two of them. They were keeping her attention, which was most likely a good sign.

"You really have an eye for these sorts of things, don't you, Akko? Is that one of your magic talents?"  
"I…well, you know. It wasn't anything special. It just always seemed like the kinda place a real witch goes for a drink, so I thought I should invite you along."  
"It does have a nice atmosphere to it." Which wasn't even a lie, really. It was…quaint. Very open and relaxing. Perhaps one day Akko will be returning here for another date.

"Yeah, you know, it's real nice now that I'm looking at it. It's no wonder this where Di-." They both froze.

"Diii…da…da…DAD! This where dad said to go! Your dad, Andrew. It was nice of him to help you with the date thing that uh, we're doing now."  
"Uh…" It was his turn to try and play along. Improv was not his strong suit. Had it been, they certainly would be here. "Y-yes. I'm surprised he recommended it." Wait, hadn't they said that she invited him. "It was especially…coincidental, considering this is where you were hoping to go, right?"  
"Y-yeah. That's right." Akko stammered out an agreement. "We're…just so on the same level, huh Andrew? Great minds think alike, right?"

 _CLACK!_

They both flinched as the sudden noise filled the air.

A teacup had been put down roughly on its saucer. Akko and Andrew turned their heads fully to the only other occupied table. Diana stood up quickly, and stormed her way to their own table. The smile drained rapidly from Akko's face, and even Andrew struggled to contain his surprise. Andrew had known her for years, and he had never known her to wear her emotions so openly. But Diana did not look envious, or lovestruck, or forlorn.

She looked outright _furious_.

There was no attempt to disguise the deep scowl on her face as she reached Akko and Andrew, and he could not contain his shock when she slapped her hands on the table hard enough to cause the silverware to jump. Her eyes flashed between the two of them, as if she couldn't decide who to glare at more.

"Have I done something to _offend_ you?" She practically spat out the words, and the anger behind them was clear as day. It was a far cry from her subdued speech pattern from their conversation only days ago.

Akko seemed frozen in place, and Andrew again found himself struggling for words. "I…no, I don't know what you-." Diana turned her attention solely to him, and her voice left no room for argument.

"Then what do you two want? Why do you keep _bothering_ me?!"

Akko swallowed. "Diana…w-we weren't trying to bother you! W-we were just…!" She snapped her glare to Akko, and the blood drained from Akko's face as she tried to articulate just what it is they were trying to accomplish.

"How stupid do you think I am, huh? Did you think I didn't notice how loud your conversation was, that I didn't see all the times you kept looking back at me? I don't know what your issue with me is right now. So either tell me what your problem is that you feel the need to antagonize me in public or just _leave me be!_ "

"Diana, you-you don't understand! It's j-just that…! We- What I'm trying to say is…!"  
"It's _what_ , Akko?" Diana snapped at her, leaning forward until she was right in Akko's face. "What is your grievance with me lately?"

"I don't…I-I can't…um…" Akko shrunk back in her seat, unable to meet Diana's gaze. She was struggling to find a response to the outburst.

"So that's it? After all this, you're not even going to fake an explanation for your behavior." Her scowl deepened, and she straightened herself, standing tall and intimidating over Akko. "All of your pestering about being more 'honest about how I feel' and you're not going to even bother. I thought you were a better person than that." Indignant and insulted, Diana spun on her heels and tried to walk off, but before she could get far, Akko had reached out and grabbed the fabric of her sleeve, a desperate look on her face.

"Wait, Diana! Please! Let's just talk about this a second!"

"Have you considered," Diana snapped, twisting her arm away, "I don't _wish_ to talk to you right now? Neither of you have considered much about my wishes when you forced me into your little romantic escapade, between him coming to my room unprompted for _advice_ of all things, loudly sharing your relationship status for the whole school to hear like a gossip rag, and now deliberately involving me in this!"

"Diana…?"

"I'm _happy_ ," Diana seethed, "you have found some high school romance. But please refrain from rubbing in my face any further, Kagari."  
"Diana, that's not…w-we're…you _know_ I wouldn't…!"

"Clearly, I don't know much about you as I thought. And right now, I don't need nor want to know more. About _any_ of this. Stop bothering me, Kagari. Good luck on your _date._ " Any further arguments Akko tried to articulate were cut off when Diana turned her back to her and began walking off. Akko was still reaching out, desperate not to let things end like this, but Diana left with neither hesitation nor a single look back at the stricken Akko.

Akko stood in silence, her hand still outstreched. She hung, frozen, unwilling or unable to move or speak. Lotte had ran back to the café, reaching out for her friend, as if to catch her should she fall. Her mouth hung open as she tried to think of something to say, but no sounds were coming out. Andrew couldn't begin to imagine a single word of comfort either of them could offer to Akko right now that would be even close to easing the situation. The café was dead silent. Akko stood in the sidewalk, watching her former friend leave. Lotte stood helplessly behind her, trying to gasp out something to say. Andrew still sat at the table between the two of them, where only minutes ago it had seemed like things were working.

What in the world could anyone say to Akko after that?

In the end, Akko moved on her own. Slowly, her arm dropped back to her side, the silence still palpable in the air. She turned to retreat back to Luna Nova, her eyes staring blankly ahead as she walked past her remaining friends. Andrew and Lotte could only share a sad look with one another before following on her heels. After a moment, Lotte worked up enough courage to wrap her arm around Akko's shoulders, and Andrew felt some small measure of relief that Akko leaned into the embrace.

 _I never thought I'd see Diana react like that_ , Andrew thought. How long had they know each other, faked their emotions in front of each other for their forefather's sakes? He had never seen her display such fury since they had been children. And how must Akko feel? She only met Diana this year, long after the Cavendish heir had learned to hide her thoughts and subdue her expressions. Even after all of their adventures she had fondly told him about, she would've never had the chance to see Diana like that. She should never have had the chance in the first place.

 _What a disaster._

The walk back to Luna Nova had not been completely quiet, at least not from them. Lotte eventually began trying to soothe Akko as best she could. She gave soft, unsure assurances to her, telling her it would be okay somehow, and that they could fix this someway. It hurt Andrew to see Akko this way, and whenever he braved a glance at her face, she looked like she wanted to cry, but she had yet to give a single whimper, or even a sad sigh. For as little as Lotte's comfort was working, at least it kept them from trying to imagine what horrible thoughts might be going through Akko's head right now. They had stopped in front of the gate into the school's campus.

Where did they go from here? Normally, this is where Andrew and Akko tended to say their goodbyes, but just the thought of leaving after everything felt wrong. Did they drag her up to her room? Let her find somewhere private to process her emotions?

"Akko," he addressed her for the first time since they left the café. Just talking to her right now felt like they were on thin ice. Something was going to break and swallow them up. "Akko, what do you want to do?"

Akko breathed in and out through her nose. Lotte gave her some space, but kept her hand on her shoulder, hoping it would do some good. It was more than Andrew was doing at least. When she looked at him, her eyes were tired and empty.

"I don't know." Her voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. "I guess that's it."  
"That's…it?" He repeated. It was a pathetic way to respond, and he knew it.

"Yeah. That's it. I don't…think Diana and me are friends anymore." She smiled, but there was no warmth or happiness to it. It was utterly broken. "Hey Andrew. I know you didn't think this was a smart plan. I…I'm sorry I got you mixed up in this."

"Akko, I assure you, I wouldn't have gotten involved if I didn't want to help you out."  
Lotte walked in front of her next to Andrew to face the girl. "We all wanted to help you, Akko. Even Sucy pitched in. We just wanted to support you."

"You guys were amazing. All of you. This was my fault. It's kinda like how I told you a few days ago, huh Andrew? I have so many amazing friends and I'm just a screw up."

"Akko…"  
"You were right. Both of you. I…I should've just talked to her about it. I thought doing something big and cool would win her over, but I made everything worse again, and I dragged you guys down with me. You guys shouldn't have to deal with embarrassing stuff just because of me. I…guess I messed up again, huh?"

"Come on, Akko. It's not like that." Lotte pleaded with her teammate. "We'll always be your friends. No matter what happens." Akko smiled again, and for a brief moment it looked genuine. But the emotions seemed to die on her face.

"But all I ever seem to do is make your guys' lives more miserable. Diana doesn't deserve that. And you guys definitely don't." He couldn't listen to any more of this. When Akko had first confessed his crush to him a few days ago, Andrew knew he couldn't let her wallow in her pity without doing something. He certainly wasn't going to leave her like this.

"No, Akko." He was not going to sit by the sidelines when his best friend was hurt. "That's not true. None of it. And I don't believe it's over yet. Not for a second."

"But…Diana's not gonna wanna talk to me again. School still thinks we're together. I made everything worse. Where do we even go from here? There's nothing you can do." She reached out her hand for, of all things, a handshake. It would've been stiff and formal, and so unlike the enthusiastic witch he had come to support more than anyone else in his life.

"But, um, thanks. For trying. And for being my friend."  
"Akko, I thought you made it clear to me before. You were very insistent."

The Andrew Hanbridge of a few months ago would've agreed; there was nothing he could do. There was nothing he would've wanted to do in the first place. He would've raised a brow at the despondent girl and moved on with his life without a second thought. The witch would reap what she sowed, and whatever involvement he may have had would've been negligible. It wasn't his life, wasn't his responsibility to take care of some common, vulgar witch. To the Andrew of a few months ago, he was a Hanbridge first and foremost, and he had little care for the petty little sob stories of little girls.

"We are not friends. We're bros."

"Go home, rest. Drink some water. I promise you, it's going to be okay. Hey, Lotte. Help her get home for me please?"  
"Uh! Yeah! O-of course I will."  
"Don't look so lost, Akko. I messed this up for you in the first place, and I'm not one to let others clean things up for me."

"Andrew…what are you going to do?"

"This whole thing started because of a slip of the tongue. And you once prided me on my ability to compose myself in social situations, to be able to talk about the things you have difficulty with. Clearly, I must redeem myself in that regard." He smiled at her, and for a moment, he felt a kind of confidence in himself that was unfamiliar.

It didn't come from his family name, or from his own accomplishments, but rather came from his desire to fix things, to repair the damage he caused. A confidence that came from his own faith in some silly girl's tenacity and her foolish dreams that he once scoffed at. He didn't know how many times she had tried to explain the importance of a smile, how many times she assured everyone who would listen how she wanted to perform and make people happy. He had thought it was childish, idealistic and naïve. But through every repetition, every meeting he had with the aspiring witch, the idea had broken through and nuzzled its way into his consciousness, and the idea that making someone smile could be magic in itself was no longer so foreign to him.

And hey, if Akko went through all this for one girl, imagine what lengths she would go to if she moved on and got another crush. One could only be involved in so many hijinks, after all. Might as well stick her with one girl so someone _else_ could deal with Akko Kagari's shenanigans. He'd hope perhaps even reign them in, but you know, he'd take what he could get. A lot of things had been made obvious in hindsight. There were many things jumping at him now that if hadn't been so embarrassed for himself he might've been able to see before. He would fix this. He would help Akko see Diana's smile. All he needed to do was find a certain someone and set the record straight.

"Well, I'm going to _un_ -fuck it up."

* * *

 **(Oof, this one was really long! Literally twice as long as Chapter 1. Took me forever to get this out and format it to make it even readable. I wanted to get this out last night, but I really didn't like how it looked. I was halfway to splitting this into two chapters, but there's no good cutting point, and I think it works better as one scene. This whole thing is what Ch1 and 2 were building to anyway, so I didn't wanna split it up even if some stuff annoys me about it.**

 **Right now, the goal is to get Chapter 4 out by Sunday night. This was a lot of fun to write, and it's a good way to unwind after a long day, but I would like to finish it, maybe plan a new fic. Hope you guys like it. Lemme know if there's any parts that are formatted weird. It's real long, and I don't want to miss anything.)**


	4. Chapter 4

Diana Cavendish had once again caught herself pacing around the greenhouse. When she found herself overly taxed, she often made a retreat to the building just to sit among the roots of the Jennifer Memorial Tree. The fragrant smells of nature, the soft greens and yellows in the air, and the hard bark of the tree against her back would always take her edge off after only a few minutes. The brief moment of relaxation and solitude had always healed her, and allowed her to return to her tasks and expectations renewed.

But now, she was too agitated for even this. She had been here an entire hour already. Just her, the plants, and their routine. She had already forced herself to sit down several times already, and inevitably, she would end up on her feet walking back and forth, running her hands through her hair roughly. And no matter how many times she would straighten it back, plant herself firmly at the base of the tree and take the calming breaths that usually worked, she was simply too out of sorts to keep herself in one place. It was immature. It was unacceptable. She felt like a child that couldn't sit still.

And acting like a child was just the issue wasn't it? Diana was a Cavendish, dammit. She was the top student in almost every class she took, a descendent of one of the Nine Olde Witches, the sole representative of one the most prestigious witch families in the entire country. And she had blown up. She was supposed to be the role model for all of Luna Nova to aspire to, and she had lost control of herself and behaved like a child. And she had no idea why she did it.

There was no reason she should've been this frustrated. Everyone came to her for advice. She'd always known that witch to be vocal about her dreams. The two of them were both overly talkative by nature, and there were only so many cafés in town, so them picking her favorite as their new little hangout was just a simple, stupid coincidence that could've just…!

She was pacing again. This was pointless. She couldn't distract herself from this right now. Especially not under this tree, where that infuriating girl had begun to force her infuriating dreams onto her. What she did was not Diana's business, not her concern, not her _anything_. Yet here she was, in front of the one place she went in the school to get away from her thoughts for just 5 minutes, and she couldn't begin to place why she was so bothered by these past few days when she had only been involved coincidentally.

The best the bright, young witch could figure out was the nagging feeling that things felt like they should be different. Like things had been building to a different climax that had been pulled away from under her. Which was a very vague and utterly unhelpful feeling.

She heard footsteps coming into the garden. No matter how much she might've liked different, this was still a public facility open to all at Luna Nova, not her personal sanctuary. She composed herself, straightened her hair as best she could and smoothed her uniform. She had a decorum to maintain, and she turned to find herself face to face with-

"Andrew Hanbridge." She had meant it as a greeting, but it had failed to come out right. Yet despite everything, she felt little need to act appropriately with her current company. "You clearly succeeded with your intentions regarding Ms. Kagari."

"Perhaps not the way you seem to be thinking. But that's what I'm here to talk about." Andrew was not deterred by her tone, if he had detected it. As if he was even able to notice how she felt. He stepped closer to Diana. She had no desire to carry a conversation right now, but she had embarrassed herself in front of him earlier. She would not re-expose her faults to him.

"If you're here to ask for more advice regarding dates, you may as well forget it."

"After all of this, I wouldn't ask either of you for romantic advice. No, I'm here to say what I should've said days ago." So was she finally going to get an explanation for their behavior? Andrew and Diana had long been at odds, especially as he made no secret of his dislike for all things magic in the past. She was only so surprised to see him acting cruel towards her. The question was why he had to drag Akko down with him. Diana wouldn't have imagined Akko would change so radically from her kind and caring demeanor. Now, she could at least find out what had caused her friend to turn on her.

"If you'd like the truth, Akko and I were never actually dating."

 _Wait, what?_

"And yesterday was…?" She prompted.  
"Not a date. Despite its appearances." That didn't make much sense. It had clearly been a date. The two had loudly and obnoxiously flirted and played coy with one another right in front of her, had made sure she was watching while they laughed and bantered in front of her. There was little other interpretation for what their get-together was. She had assumed the reason was Andrew being petty, or Akko getting revenge for something Diana had done to wrong her, but their date being faked? That was not high on her list of explanations.

"What was the point of all that, Andrew? If you didn't like each other, why pretend to go on a date? And for that matter, if it hadn't been real, why would you come to my room and ask me about Akko?" The boy shuffled on his feet for a moment before giving her an answer. Or at least, acting like he was giving her an answer.

"You'll have to forgive me, Diana, but there are certain parts that I…was asked not to tell you."  
"By Akko? And why isn't she here telling me this?"  
"Because you said you didn't want to talk to her, Diana. Honestly, she really took what you said to heart. I don't think she'll want to talk to anyone tonight."

A part of Diana felt somewhat vindicated. Akko had been rude and in her face these past few days, so shouldn't she pay some penance for that? But the other part felt a pain of guilt. Akko had been rude, yes, but that didn't mean Diana was justified in hurting her back for it. The shame of being humiliated like she was earlier was still there, but Akko, for all her faults, was a good person, and had already put up with so much ridicule already, not least of which had been from Diana's own team. Diana herself. There was the frustration again. Why was this whole situation so complicated?

"But I'm not here to guilt-trip you." Andrew continued. "I'm here to tell you the truth, and the truth is, when I had come to your room asking about Akko, it was not to ask her out. I don't see Akko that way. When you called me out, I had been caught off-guard and made a mistake, said the complete wrong thing. It caused things to spiral out of control. Akko certainly did not spread the rumors that we were dating, and at first all she wanted was to dispel them. It hadn't worked."

He paused for a moment, and Diana wasn't sure if he was prompting her to begin asking questions. Evidently not, as he continued before she had opened her mouth.

"The date then, was Akko's idea. It was a performance. And when you said we deliberately involved you, you were not wrong. She wanted you to see it, Diana. The hope was it would make you jealous."

"Jealous?" What? So far, this entire explanation was just leaving her with more questions than answers.  
"Yes. Akko thought that you wouldn't talk to her because of all the rumors about us, and she desired your attention. So she planned that date for your benefit, so Akko could…let's say, get a reaction out of you."  
"But…why would she do that?"

"Do you really not get it? It's pretty simple, Diana."  
"No, Andrew, it's _not_ pretty simple. You two pretended to date for the sole purpose of making me jealous? Why? What do you gain from that? This whole venture just seems pointless."

"Oh for the love of-!" Andrew threw his hands up before leveling Diana with an exasperated glare. "Would you just ask Akko out already?"

 _Ask Akko out? What? What does he mean by…?_

 _Wait, he doesn't mean…?!_

Diana's could feel her face suddenly grow very hot. Her and Akko? What!? "H-how dare you! W-what makes you think I-? T-that I would-!?"

Andrew's face was unmoved as the normally well-composed witch attempted to stammer out an explanation.

"Who I d-date is none of your business! I-I don't even know why you assume I _like_ Akko in that sense!"

Andrew raised a single brow.

"I don't...! I uh…I…" Diana's voice trailed off and she barely managed more than a mumble.

"…perhaps I'll…talk to her in the morning."

* * *

It had been a rough night for Akko. Lotte had spent the better part of the night talking to her, and even Sucy had sat at her side for support. She really did have amazing friends. It had taken her a long time to quiet her thoughts enough to get some sleep. She felt…different in the morning. She didn't feel better or anything. There was still a gnawing ache in her chest when she thought of how she had hurt Diana.

But Andrew had said he was going to fix this. A part of Akko doubted he could, but really, it wouldn't change much. She already lost Diana's trust and her friendship. There wasn't much worse he could do. Maybe if Andrew could get her to speak with her again, she could at least apologize for hurting her feelings. So they'd never get to date. That was…she could get over it eventually. Somehow, she could move on. She didn't know _how_ , but maybe since Lotte, Sucy, and Andrew were still there for her, she could somehow get through this.

She just wished she could go back in time and stop herself from ever trying this in the first place.

Thankfully it was still the weekend. There was no way she could go to class now, especially not when Diana was in so many of her classes. She didn't know what she would do come Monday, how she could handle being in the same room as her again, but she would just have to deal with that later. Not like planning ever really did her much good.

She had been lying in bed again. She had gotten dressed, taken a shower, and gotten herself ready, but despite all that, she still didn't really feel like going out right now. Lotte and Sucy had been happy to see her up and about at least, and invited her to come out with them, but she didn't think she'd be good company right now. Right now, all she was doing was wallowing in silence.

From outside her door, there was the sound of paper being folded, and when she turned to look, an envelope was laying on her floor, evidently having been slipped under the door. Swinging her legs off the bed onto the floor, she looked at the envelope. It was blank expect for the name written on the front. _'Atsuko.'_ Hesitantly, she ripped the top open and read the note inside.

 _'Atsuko._

 _If you are available, I would like to speak with you. There are things I would like to_ _talk about with you, and I believe I must do it in person. If you don't wish to see me right now, I understand. If you are willing to see me, I will be waiting outside the Library building. I will not blame you if you don't wish to go, but I hope you do._

 _Diana Cavendish.'_

She…wanted to talk with her? So Andrew had come through for her. Diana's letter didn't seem like she hated her guts yet, so maybe she'd get the chance to fix things, say her piece and hope for forgiveness. Akko made her way outside to the library and sure enough Diana was standing there, her arms crossed. As she heard Akko's approach, she fidgeted for a moment before turning to face her.

"You came. I'm…glad." Unsure, all Akko could offer was a small smile.  
"Hey Diana." Akko wasn't quite sure what to say to her, and it seemed Diana was in the same boat, as she too kept silent. After a moment, Diana shifted again before clearing her throat.

"Akko, I…I believe I owe you an apology." _Huh?_ She's _apologizing to me?_ That seemed backwards. Diana however interpreted her silence as an inclination for her to continue.

"I…should not have yelled at you the way I did. My behavior was out of line, and I caused you distress. I should not have lost my temper at you last night at the café. I had interpreted it as you and Andrew showing off. I assumed that all the events that had transpired were you bragging to me about your new date. It…it hurt, everything happening so fast as it did. But regardless my reaction was inappropriate."

"I mean, I get it, Diana. I do. We were really in your face about it. A-and besides, I still want you to be more honest about how you feel sometimes. It's not like I did nothing wrong…"  
"That may be true, but this is…your love life. I-if you find someone that makes you happy, then…I should support you."  
"Y-yeah. But uh, Diana, me and Andrew weren't actually dating, you know. It was…the whole thing was…" _Was what?_ If she said what it actually was, Diana would start asking uncomfortable questions. But instead, Diana simply held up her hand for her to stop.

"I know. Andrew talked to me last night. He…said you were trying to make me jealous."

"O-oh. So um, you know everything then." If that was the case, then Diana knew how she felt, didn't she? She didn't know if she was disappointed that she learned from Andrew, or relieved that she might not have to go into how she felt. She couldn't say it before when they had become friends, couldn't say it when Diana was angry with her in class. How could she say it now, after everything that had happened? Maybe it was better that'd she'd never have to say to Diana's face how much she meant to her.

"He didn't explain everything. Akko, _why_ did you do this? What was the point of trying to make me jealous?"

And there was the question she had been dreading, that she had done everything she had these past few days to be able to avoid answering it directly. What should she _say?_ She couldn't think of the words, couldn't find the courage, couldn't imagine how to even start…

But then…what had she pretended to confess yesterday, before everything had gone south? Andrew had pretended to be Diana, and had asked what she saw in Diana. It was not real, and Andrew obviously hadn't said it to her in her stead, but Akko had laid out her feelings nonetheless. Andrew even said she should say it to her face. So she had practice saying this, didn't she? It would make things awkward, sure, but if she had just told the truth in the first place, she could've avoided all this. She had to do it now.

Her throat felt suddenly felt very dry.

"I…I'm not…good? At talking about this? A-and I get really nervous, b-but…I uh…" She felt her legs quivering, and her toes curled in her boots. _Come on Akko_. _You said it once, right? Just say it one more time._

"I…wanted to see you smile."

"Akko…?" That clearly hadn't been the response she was expecting. Akko felt like she was going to fall over, but she couldn't back down now. She tried to push the butterflies in her stomach down as best she could.

"Geez, I don't know. Diana, i-it's just that, you're really good at everything, and you always work so hard and you do so much for everyone. You always were a great witch, a-and that's what I really wanted to be." Akko breathed in and out. She could do this. "We got to be friends over the school year, and you were always supporting me. When I found out about the Dream Fuel Spirit, you came to help me. And you were the one that helped me shoot that last Shiny Arc when we stopped that missile. And you believed during the Samhain festival, and at your house, and a bunch of other times I'm forgetting. And it just made my heart soar, all the times you were there for me." Akko could barely concentrate, her face felt so warm, and her legs felt weak. It was taking all of her willpower to just keep breathing and talking.

"And I just…wanted to make you happy in return. I wanted to always be by your side, because you were always there for me. But I didn't know how to talk to you about it, and I always wanted to perform, so I thought maybe if I put on a big show, it'd make it easier for you to notice me, so maybe I could tell you this stuff about how I feel. I know it wasn't that smart, but that's why I did it. I wanted to make you smile, for all the times you were there for me, because you're so important to me."

"I…I really like your smile, Diana. I think when you smile…um, you're really…pretty."

Well, that was it then. She just admitted how she felt, and now there was no going back. Diana had heard her loud and clear, and Akko doubted she could interpret it as anything but her having feelings for the other witch. Akko didn't know when her eyes had become glued to the ground, but slowly, slowly, she forced herself to look up and into Diana's eyes. Her mouth was agape, and she was staring. Maybe if Akko's heart wasn't beating so fast, and she wasn't dreading what Diana would say next, she'd find the expression funny. Akko was too nervous to say anything else. It felt like hours until Diana finally spoke up.

"I-I see. S-so you…"  
"Yeah…"  
"M-may I ask how long you felt this way? A-About me?"  
"A while. It just sort of…happened."

Diana didn't say anything else, and Akko didn't really know how to take that. This wasn't how she had wanted Diana to learn how she felt about her. She had hoped it would be a friend realizing she meant something _more_ , but it had instead become an explanation for a ruined friendship. Akko would deal with the fallout of that. But before she went back, she should at least say the other thing she had come her to say.

"A-anyway, Diana. I should be the one apologizing." The words were coming out fast and unsteady. Her heart was still beating too fast in her chest. "I didn't think of how the whole thing might look to you, and I didn't wanna hurt your feelings. Sorry, that we tried to make you jealous."

"…thank you." Diana didn't look her in the eye as she said it, and Akko figured that would be it. They talked, and they didn't seem to hate each other. For now that was…good enough. Just good enough. Akko was about to make her way back to her room and find some way to take her minds off things when suddenly-

"For the record Akko." Akko stopped in her tracks and looked back. Diana was still having trouble looking directly at her, but it no longer seemed like it was because she was angry with her now. Her eyes were pensive, and her body language still very tense. She looked…ashamed? Embarrassed? Akko wasn't sure.

"While I still believe we should've avoided that entire mess, I had been cold to you before when you simpy approached me in class. I didn't want to speak with you, so I suppose that's why you…I d-don't think your efforts were entirely in vain. I…was unsure why I reacted the way I did u-until you told me all this. I d-didn't know why I had been so frustrated, but I suppose I was…" She turned away, frustration clear on her face. "I was…was…"

"Jealous. That is. I was sad to see you with Andrew, and now I realize it's because I…I have…that is to say…I l-l-like…" Diana cleared her throat again. She seemed to be dong that a lot lately.

"I like your smile as well, Akko."

 _She…she likes me back? She likes me back?!_ Akko was completely beside herself. She went to sleep thinking Diana hated her, and after everything, she actually liked her back. She liked her back! Akko couldn't contain the squeal that emanated from her throat, and couldn't hope to stop herself from throwing her arms around Diana in absolute joy. She always hoped she'd be able to do this, to have her in her arms, but after last night she had tried to push those dreams out of her head once and for all. Even after everything she had did, that Diana could actually like her back! Everything she did to-

There was the sudden realization in Akko's head that even if Diana might return her feelings, she still might not exactly be on good enough terms for Akko to just tackle her. She jumped back from Diana, before she offended her again. "Uh sorry! I shouldn't have…well maybe I should've asked or…"

"A w-warning is preferable, but I-it was not unpleasant or anything. I understand why you did it." It took a _lot_ of Akko's willpower not to immediately hug her again. This time she would ask first and _then_ hug her. But before she got the chance, Diana crossed her arms and turned her nose up at her.

"S-still! That entire masquerade with your pretend dating was still inappropriate. I believe we need to have a more in-depth discussion on this. T-this evening. I-if you're available."

In hindsight, Akko wasn't sure if she was simply too giddy with excitement to think clearly or was just genuinely a stupid person, but something stopped her from immediately accepting Diana honest-to-god _asking her on a date!_ Mostly just a simple observation. How often did she get to see a flustered Diana?

"Oh, but I don't get it, Diana. I thought we already said sorry, and you still wanna keep talking about it?" She was kicking her leg innocently. She just couldn't keep still right now. Especially when Diana's face was turning red.  
"It w-wouldn't be a lecture Akko." Diana hugged her arms closer to herself. "I just b-believe there's more we should talk about. In p-private.  
"Diana, are you trying to ask me something? I mean, we just had that big talk, so you can just ask me whatever."

"I-I think it's perfectly clear what I am trying to ask you, _Akko_." She glared at her, but somehow it wasn't doing much to deter her mood right now.  
"I still don't know. Like I said, I'm not good with this stuff, Diana."

"…Do you just want me to say it?"  
"Would you? Please?" Akko batted her eyelashes pleadingly. Diana huffed, and looked away.

"Do you want to go on a…date? With me?"

 _Oh hell yes._ Akko grinned ear to ear, flashing the brightest smile she possibly could towards Diana.

"Do you like ice cream, Diana? I know this really great place we could go."  
"Ice cream? Yes, I know about ice cream. I mean, that is, I enjoy ice cream. Eating ice cream." She cleared her throat. Again. "That sounds acceptable, Akko."

And then, Diana smiled back at her.

* * *

"Akko, that is your ice cream, I don't wish to take any."  
"You _paid_ for it, Diana! Besides, it's just a lick! I think you'd like this flavor."

And so, two witches found themselves in a shady park outside of Akko's favorite ice cream parlor. Sitting close on a bench, they lost track of time as they simply enjoyed each other's companies. They assuaged each other's lingering doubts of both of their behaviors over the past few days, and while they danced around any true romantic discussion, their words and actions made the implications clear. They would define what they were now later, talk about how Diana's hand rested on top of Akko's some other day. For now, all that was important was to enjoy their date. They ate ice cream. Diana's a plain vanilla cone, and Akko's fudge chocolate stuffed with flavors and sprinkles.

"I like vanilla." Diana defended herself. "It's simple. It's a classic."  
"I mean, it's not _bad_ ," Akko assured her, "but you gotta try new and exciting stuff!"

Hesitantly, Diana bent down and took a small taste of Akko's treat. It certainly was not something she would've chose for herself. It was a bit too sugary and sweet for her typical palate, but it made Akko happy. And perhaps it was better to expand her horizons and look at things she had passed by before. Akko couldn't stop giggling as Diana's face contorted as the flavor flowed through her mouth. A part of Diana wanted to say something to defend herself, but in the end, it didn't feel genuine, and she giggled along. They only stopped because vanilla was dripping onto Akko's bare leg. Diana stood, and her hand left from Akko's, but she turned to her with a fond smile.

"I think I'm going to get some napkins. I'll be back shortly."

As Diana left Akko to her thoughts for a moment, she couldn't help but admire how everything had worked out. Diana had forgiven her, Andrew had been the best friend she could ask for, and certainly not least of all, she actually told Diana how she felt. And she reciprocated! Maybe in the end, stuff really could work out for h-

 _Hey, who's that?_ Coming towards her was another girl wearing a Luna Nova uniform and a wide grin on her face. It only took Akko a second to recognize her.

"Huh? Aman-DAH!?" The witch suddenly slapped Akko square in the back. Amanda let out a loud laugh before plopping herself right down next to Akko.

As Akko tried to recover, Amanda began playfully elbowing her in the ribs, almost causing her to lose her ice cream. She barely noticed Akko's distress as she smirked at her. "You're crazy Akko! Absolutely nuts! I could barely believe the rumors when I heard 'em, but now I find you here with Diana! I didn't think you were so daring, you sly dog, you."  
"What are you talking about, Amanda?"

"What am I talking about? I'm talking about you dating Andrew _and_ Diana at the same time! You're a real gold digger aren't you, Akko? I'm not even sure how you managed to pull that off. Hey, what's that look for? Akko?"

* * *

 **(Ah, I can't believe I'm actually finishing this! I didn't expect this to be so long, since I mostly just write to unwind, but everyone ended up being super nice to me about this and a lot of people liked it, which is crazy to me!**

 **I always wanted to write a more unconventional confession scene, where they never actually say they like each other, so that's where that whole smile thing came from. It wasn't actually planned out, the smile thing was a last minute addition to the last chapter, and it ended up helping develop Akko's character a bit more in the story. Diana's POV wasn't really planned either, but I'm glad. I think it's fitting the last chapter switches between the two of them.**

 **Anyway, the story is TECHNICALLY over now. Whenever I get stuck writing, it helps me to open up another chapter or project to drabble a bit. I ended writing a quasi-epilogue to this. It's not a full chapter, so don't get excited or anything, but it'll probably be up pretty soon. It's real short.)**


	5. Chapter5?

Despite all the awkwardness leading up to it, Diana couldn't deny she was unexpectedly happy with how things were going with Akko. She had come to Luna Nova for an education, she hadn't expected to find a girl-…

Girlfr-…Girlfrie-…

Girl who she dates and holds hands with on occasion. That was a nice bonus. When they first met, she never would've imagined she could see Akko in that sense, but somehow, she could no longer imagine what it was like not to be endeared by her. It had only been a few days since their date, and the thought of a second filled her with more excitement than she's felt in a long time. It was a strange feeling, but Diana liked it well enough.

"Diana!" "Diana!"

The witch in question looked up from her tea and allowed a small smile to show on her lips at the sight of Hannah and Barbara. "Hello, girls. Is everything alright?"

"We just heard the _juiciest_ gossip and we just _had_ to tell you!"  
"Yeah, so, you know your friend, Akko?"  
"…yes?" Diana cared for her teammates a lot, but they could be quite hard to follow when they were excited.

"So there was this rumor that she of all people was dating Andrew Hanbridge! Did you hear about all that?"

"…yes." Despite her best efforts, trying to stop high school girls from spreading false rumors was nigh impossible. Diana supposed she'd be stuck dispelling this for quite a while. "From my understanding, girls, that was a mistake. They are not dating." Her teammates looked impressed.

"Oh, so you have heard! Just like Diana to know what's going on."

"I can't believe anyone believed that though." Hannah turned to Barbara to express her shock. "Andrew Hanbridge is super rich and dreamy. Why would he date someone like Akko?"  
Diana couldn't help but wince.

"Yeah I mean, Akko's not the worst or anything, but like, her? Andrew so rich he probably dates supermodels or something. What would he see in her?"  
"Right? Akko's nice enough, but I can't imagine why anyone would think Andrew would go for her."

Barbara glanced to Diana. "I mean, you two are friends, right? What would make someone pick Akko?"

"Girls, you know _I'm_ dating Akko, right?"  
The sudden silence was palpable. Barbara gaped at her. Hannah turned to gape at her as well. They gaped at each other for a moment, before slowly turning back to Diana. And then they _shrieked_.

Diana almost fell out of her chair at the sudden piercing filling her ears. Thankfully, it only lasted a moment before Hannah and Barbara fainted for the second time this week. Once Diana recovered from her own shock, she let out a long, weary sigh.

This may prove to be a complication.

* * *

Amanda let out another long groan as she flopped onto her bunk. "Maaaan, I just don't get how Akko got so lucky all of a sudden. One day everyone thinks she's a dunce, the next she's like, saving the world, and getting to go on live television."

Jasminka did not seem very sympathetic to her teammates' distress. "We were there, too, you know."

"Yeah, but we left first! Before stuff even got good! And now, Akko's banging not one, but _two_ rich people! How did that happen?!" Amanda threw up her arms in frustration. "How come I can't land a hot rich lady? Or a hot rich dude? She got both!"

Again, despite the obvious injustice of how much cool stuff was happening to Akko and not to her, Jasminka still looked unmoved.

"Sorry, Amanda. I still think you're missing some information here."  
"Agh, c'mon! It's like she managed to grab all the good luck from us. I got detention today, and she's got some date!"  
"Amanda, she was in detention yesterday."

"Tch, yeah, yeah. Hey, what do you think, Contz? You gotta admit, we got the short end of the stick here, eh?"

Constanze just looked surprised, long having stopped working on her next project when she had noticed just what they had been discussing. "…Is everyone I know gay?"

* * *

Akko outright sprinted when she saw him approach. As always, way too excited to contain her joy. "Andrew! You're back from your trip!"  
"Oh! Hey Akko. It's good to see you."

After such a long business trip, being able to just sit and talk with his guard down would be an immensely welcome change of pace. He made finger guns at her. She made finger guns back.

Taking out a water bottle, Andrew wet his throat before speaking with his friend. "And how are things with Diana?" Akko's tender smile at the thought of her girlfriend was still unchanged.

"It's pretty great. She decided she's gonna come visit me in Japan over summer break. It's gonna be a bit weird for her to meet my parents. I wonder if they'll like her…"  
"I wouldn't stress about it too much, Akko. Diana's not one to make a fool of herself."  
"I mean, yeah, I know that…"  
"At least, not in public."

"Ooh, gonna play it like that?" She smirked, "Remember what _you_ told her when you tried to set us up? You've said a lot of embarrassing things too, mister." Akko prodded him in the arm, but he didn't look phased by the teasing. Andrew took a long sip of his water bottle, and as he quenched his thirst, he looked down directly at Akko and said two words.

"Chariot costume."  
"SHUT! UP!" She punched him in the arm. "You always bring that up as soon as I start winning an argument!" Laughing to himself, Andrew sat down on the curb, and after she made absolutely sure he saw her pouting face, Akko sat beside him.

"But really, you don't think it's too soon, do you? I mean, we've only been dating a few weeks."  
"Akko, really. Don't overthink it. You like her. If you do, I'm sure your parents will like her too."  
"Yeah…it's still just so different. But like, a good different. She turned to him, her eyes shining. "Plus, I always got you to help me out when things mess up, don't I?" Andrew couldn't keep the chuckle in his throat.

"I suppose if I _must_ help you out. Someone has to keep your plans under control." The smirk returned to Akko's face.

"So speaking of that, let's say things go _real_ good for me and Diana these next few years and I go as far as to wanna propose…"  
"Akko Kagari, I swear, I will kill you where you stand."  
"Ha! We're sitting! You can't touch me!"

* * *

"Akko," Diana said slowly. "I _know_ how much you love me. I still refuse to let you leave until you finish studying for your midterms."

"Come oooon, Diana!" She pouted. "It'll be fun! And I know you like having fun, no matter what you say."

"Studying can be fun someti- Don't you laugh at me, Atsuko! I remember you used to be excited to learn new magic."

"I am! But I wanna _use_ magic, not talk about it…Let's make a deal then." Diana bit back a groan. She was a skilled negotiator when it came to things that weren't related to her girlfriend.

"Akko, I don't want you to do poorly on these exams. Your mother gave me explicit directions to make sure you pass."

"And I will! But if I finish these pages, I get to take you out flying. Just us, the broom, the open sky, a bit of privacy~."

"Akko…" This is it. This is why she could never win. Akko knew all her weaknesses and it was completely unfair. "I don't want her cross with me again."  
"But don't you just wanna see me _smile_ , Diana?"

"…You are insufferable. Fine. Fine! But only if you finish! We'll have plenty of time to fly when the exams are over."

It was good enough for Akko, and she returned to her books with a renewed vigor. Diana quizzed her with flashcards, and did her best to walk her through all the review work they had been given. The broom in the corner called to her, but Diana wasn't about to let her be distracted yet. Akko would get an A or her name wasn't Diana K-

Cavendish. Diana Cavendish.

 _Damn it, Akko._

* * *

 **((Look, I don't know, I just wanted to write more dialogue, and I never know how to end these things. I said it'd be short.)**

 **But, uh, yeah! It's over then! I can't believe how nice you people were to this thing. Someone put this on the TVtropes page for LWA and that's just nuts to me! I'm surprised how many people said they liked how I characterized Andrew. He ended up being fun to write, as this recovering snob with a heart of gold. He complains how much he hates going along with Akko while he drops everything to help Akko the second she's in trouble. And then there's Diana. In short, Trailer Trash Witch: 2, the beautiful Elite of society: 0.**

 **It was really fun to write this story on its own, but that a lot of people actually really liked it is super cool.** **I dunno what my next fic will be. I got a few LWA ideas stirring around, and it'd be fun to play off of more characters. But trying to keep a schedule for these things can be a bit of a pain, so I might just do some one-shots for a while. But really, thanks so much for the kind words. I'm still amazed that so many people left so many nice comments on this.)**


End file.
